Implications for Parents, Schools, and Health
Care Professionals
From a talk given at University of North Texas,
March 7, 2003
Research shows that some 33-60% of children
who undergo cardiac arrest have a near-death
experience. Like adult NDEs, these childhood
NDEs have profound implications for the experiencers.
Today, I will discuss the types of NDEs that
children experience, what changes you might
expect in a child, the natural history of adjustment
to changes brought on by a NDE, and how you
might be of assistance to children who have
had NDEs. I will also talk about the relationship
between children with NDEs and HSC (highly sensitive
children).
When pediatrician, Dr. Melvin Morse, first
studied NDEs in children who had been revived
and brought into the hospital through Operation
Airlift Northwest, he discovered that 40% of
the children who had survived a cardiac arrest
reported a NDE during the event. Dr. Morse interviewed
children from records over a ten-year period.
Hence, some of the children had recently undergone
a NDE whereas other children had undergone a
NDE many years in the past. The overall recollection
of NDEs was approximately 40%. PMH Atwater,
who has extensively interviewed childhood NDErs
over the past 20 years, feels that the incidence
of NDEs in cardiac arrest in children is closer
to 70%. No large-scale prospective studies have
been done yet. Suffice it to say, that you probably
know children who have had NDEs if you know
any children who have undergone cardiac arrests
(or had extremely difficult births.)
According to Atwater, there are four types
of NDEs that may occur in children. The first
type, the "Initial Experience," has
few of the elements of the classic NDE. The
children have a feeling of profound peace whether
it is a welcome darkness or a gentle light.
It is their entrance into the world of other
realities. 76% of childhood NDErs have this
type of experience. The second type, the "Pleasant
and/or Heaven-like Experience" is encountered
by 19% of childhood NDErs. In this type, children
encounter friendly environments, family members,
and/or helpful guides. They feel validated and
loved and reassured that there is a purpose
to life. The third type is found in only 3%
of childhood NDEs. This type of experience,
"the Unpleasant or Hell-like Experience,"
has frightening elements that seem to represent
repressed fears and guilt. It may involve an
unpleasant life review or a frightening void.
The fourth type is found in only 2% of childhood
NDEs. This "Transcendent" type reveals
other dimensions and truths in some detail.
The exact details are not always remembered
after the NDE. Of note, in Atwater's research,
the percentages of these four types of experiences
vary widely between children and adults. She
feels that people receive the type of experience
that will be of most value to them. For further
discussion of these types, please refer to her
book, Children of the New Millennium.
What changes might you see in a child who has
had a NDE? Children may talk about their NDE
or they may withdraw and seem to be "in
a world of their own." The earlier that
the NDE occurs in their lives, the more they
live from what they understood in their NDE,
but feel puzzled by what seems to pass for reality
around them. It is not at all uncommon for them
to continue communication with spirits after
returning from a NDE. This may appear as an
imaginary playmate, but it is also quite likely
that these spirits will be described as angels.
Children may appear to be much older than their
actual chronological age. They may have interests
in the meaning of life and in spirituality that
may seem strange in one so young. They often
develop a taste for books that are generally
read by much older people, especially books
about spirituality and philosophy. These same
children may have difficulty relating to people
their own age because of their more mature interests.
They may also have difficulty relating because
of the extreme sensitivity that develops as
a result of the NDE. Most people who experience
a NDE notice that they are much more sensitive
to other people upon their return. They are
intuitive and can often sense and even feel
exactly what the other person is feeling. Hence,
the childhood NDEr has a very difficult time
on the playground when a fellow student is being
teased. These NDErs recognize that the majority
of the children on the playground do not share
their discomfort and they feel quite isolated
from the group. NDErs may seem to be more distant
after a NDE. They will behave lovingly toward
strangers and animals, but they may not seem
as attached to their parents and siblings as
they did before the NDE. This is a natural outcome
of experiencing universal love and should not
be taken personally by family members. These
children may begin to bring in stray animals
and concern themselves about world conditions.
Violent programs and the news may be overwhelming
to them. According to Atwater, children may
undergo a "Brain Shift" and have a
jump in intelligence, especially if their NDE
occurs in the first few months of life or at
3-5 years of age. Many of these children will
register at genius level on intelligence tests.
Childhood NDErs often develop food and medicine
sensitivities as well. They may be allergic
to them or simply have more side effects or
require lower doses of medications. This is
the rule rather than the exception in terms
of medications. If children had "Unpleasant
NDEs," they may have difficulty falling
asleep because they consciously or unconsciously
fear returning to the NDE.
Atwater in Children of the New Millenniumhas
delineated the natural history of adjustment
after a NDE. She has noted that Phase One occurs
for the first three years after the NDE. During
that time period, children are usually involved
in their inner world. They may appear withdrawn
as they encounter the changes in themselves
as described above. They are trying to integrate
the experience internally. I would also point
out that many children have had significant
physical problems as a result of the illness
or trauma that initiated the cardiac arrest
in the first place. Those physical problems
often require rehabilitation and adjustment
as well. During the next four years, Phase Two,
they begin to realign themselves with their
families and seek opportunities for service
in the world. About 1/3 of childhood NDErs will
turn to alcohol during this phase because of
the discrepancy between the world they envision
and the one they encounter. Phase Three occurs
from seven to 12-15 years after the NDE. During
this phase, they begin to balance what they
see in the world and what they feel internally.
At this time, they develop self-confidence and
a sense of spiritual and moral values so that
they can enter the world in a solid way. While
Phase Three seems to be a time of great gain,
there comes a time in Phase Four when childhood
NDErs lose heart and begin to have swings in
their moods and hormones. They often become
depressed during this phase; (most of the 21%
of childhood NDErs who attempted suicide did
so during this phase.) As this phase ends, the
NDEr deeply integrates the experience and finds
that they have the self-confidence to live in
the world from their own unique perspective.
It is helpful to keep these approximate phases
in mind when you encounter a child who has had
a NDE.
What can you do to help the child who has had
a NDE? First, be alert to the fact that they
may well have had a NDE if they underwent a
cardiac arrest. Ask them open-ended questions
in a gentle fashion. Don't assume anything,
but let them lead the way. Second, be aware
of the changes that children often experience
after a NDE. By anticipating these changes and
looking for them, you can be truly supportive
of the child.
In addition to these general approaches, there
are also some useful specific approaches in
various settings. In the family setting, read
about NDEs yourself so that you can provide
your child with factual information. Allow the
child plenty of time to process the experience.
They may need more time to be in their room
to be alone, to relax, and to read books. Allow
them to talk about the experience as much as
they want to, but don't press them for details.
Support them as they maneuver in the world,
trying to blend what they have learned in the
NDE with what they see in the world. If possible,
introduce them to other people who have had
NDEs. Seek out an IANDS group in your community
both for yourself and for your child. (See www.iands.org
for a list of "Friends of IANDS" groups
throughout the country.) Be alert to symptoms
of depression, alcohol or drug abuse, and/or
prolonged withdrawal from routine social activities.
If you become concerned, seek out a counselor
who is well versed in NDEs and has a transpersonal
approach to counseling. When your child is ill,
remember that they may have allergies and may
need lower doses of medication than the average
child does.
As a teacher, the most helpful thing that you
can do is familiarize yourself with the NDE
literature. I especially recommend books by
Dr. Melvin Morse and PMH Atwater as introductions
to be world of childhood NDErs. Childhood NDErs
will benefit from your objective information.
In the classroom, understand that a childhood
NDEr has a lot of input, both external and internal.
They often approach information at a much more
mature level than does the typical child of
their age. They may be highly intelligent with
a strong interest in the moral and spiritual
implications of what they are learning. They
may well need support as they interact with
other children, as they are so sensitive. The
rough-and-tumble world of the playground may
be overwhelming. Their newfound psychic abilities
may be unwelcome. Your compassion will go a
long way toward helping them to cope.
Dr. Bruce Greyson is the psychiatrist who has
worked most with people of all ages with NDEs.
In a talk given at the IANDS national conference
in Jan. 2003, Dr. Greyson discussed several
ways that counselors can assist people with
NDEs. In addition to the advice to families
and teachers, here are some other ways to help:
art and/or music therapy may be used to get
to feelings that words simply can't express;
hypnotherapy may be used to recall NDEs, especially
those that occurred at a very young age; children
may need to discuss conflicts over their decision
to return to their bodies; children need a safe
place to talk about their other realities; keeping
a focus on the "here and now" will
encourage a smooth adjustment; a NDE in a family
member often changes the family dynamics and
values-family counseling may be of benefit.
Many of you are familiar with the HSC (the
highly sensitive child.) According to Dr. Elaine
Aron, some 15-20% of the population is genetically
highly sensitive. These children are sensitive
to changes in the environment. They perform
better in the classroom if changes are announced
ahead of time, if there is not too much noise
or conflicting input in the classroom, and if
they can integrate into the classroom at their
own pace. As I read about that type of child,
I was struck with the similarities between those
children and those who have had NDEs. Both types
of children will benefit from a quiet classroom,
perhaps even one that incorporates some form
of meditation at points throughout the day.
They are a great addition to the classroom with
their insightful comments and sensitivity to
nuances.
Suggested Reading
Aron, Elaine N., Ph.D. The Highly Sensitive
Child: Helping our Children Thrive when the
World Overwhelms Them. New York: Broadway
Books, 2002.
Atwater, PMH, Lh.D. Children of the New
Millennium: Children's Near-Death Experiences
and the Evolution of Humankind. New York:
Three Rivers Press, 1999. Soon to be re-published
as Children's Near-Death Experiences and
the Evolution of Humankind.
Atwater, PMH, Lh.D. Brain Shift/Spirit Shift
Model. Self-published. Available at www.cinemind.com/atwater.
Greyson, Bruce, M.D. Varieties of Anomalous
Experiences: Examining the Scientific Evidence,
edited by Etzel Cardena, Steven J. Lynn, and
Stanley Krippner. Washington, D.C.: American
Psychological Assn., 2000.
Morse, Melvin, M.D. with Paul Perry. Closer
to the Light: Learning from the Near-Death Experiences
of Children. New York: Villard Books, 1990.
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